Some Poetry

MAMA SAID

I keep on hearing it
Move on they say
Over and over
Why don't they understand
Its not that easy
I'd love to sleep tonite
A night without nightmares
I'd love to have a day
A tomorrow without fear
To wake up without pain
I want the scars gone
Physical and emotional
All gone
That will never be
I will wake up tonight
I will be scared
I will hurt
I am forever changed
Why did he pick me?
Why did he do it?
Just more answerless questions
Maybe someday I'll know
Maybe I will even heal
I can always have hope
I need to remember
All things happen for a reason
This too shall pass
And mama said there'd be days......



LOVE

What is love?
Is it unity?
Should you be yourself?
Or do you let someone mold you?
Change you?
Into someone your not?
They say change is good
What kind of change?
Complete change?
No change at all?
Where do you draw the line?
These are all questions
Questions in the mind
The mind of a healing woman.



DOMESTICATING DOMESTIC

Some days I wonder
I sit here and cry
Its been so long
Why does it still hurt
Hes locked up so far away
Some days
It feels like hes free
Free to hurt me over and over
Hes in my head
It plays on my fears
Some days I wish he would of won
Those days would be easier
They would not exist
I would not exist
Most days are good
I do love my life
I do love those in it
Having him in my head
It makes those days hard
They get so hard to enjoy
When that happens
I just wanna give up
The ghosts
They just won't go
I feel like hes really winning
The war keeps raging on
Through the pain
I keep fighting
This soldier
Though battered bruised and damaged
I own no white flag
There is not surrender
There is no loosing
I will fight to the death
This war is mine and only mine
I fight alone
I fight with help from my allies
It never goes away
I will enjoy my victories
I will continue on fighting
I am a mother
I am a daughter
I am a granddaughter
A sister, a niece, a girlfriend
I have many roles
Because of these roles I am a warrior
I AM A WARRIOR




ROLLER COASTER

Up and down
Twists and turns
Happy sad
Angry glad
What comes next
I don't know
When will it stop
When did it start
The pillow case
It broke a dam
It caused a flood
It was the blood
The blood never goes away
Like a tattoo in my brain
Throw it away
I can't bring myself to
If I destroy it will the ride end
Or is this just the start
When will I know
When do I get to control